WHAT TO BRING WITHIN The re: Holiday Guide 2025
A curated guide to the inner tools, rituals, and resourcing you’ll want with you—wherever the season takes you.
A curated guide to the inner tools, rituals, and resourcing you’ll want with you—wherever the season takes you.
Dear friends,
There’s a certain quiet truth about the holidays that rarely gets named:
We don’t just bring gifts or dishes or travel bags to the places (and tables) we visit — we bring our inner worlds. Our histories. Our tenderness. Our bandwidth. Our longing. Our joy. Our grief. Our healing. Our very human nervous systems.
This guide is an invitation to bring yourself with intention.
Not the polished version.
Not the over-functioning version.
The honest version.
The resourced one.
The one that’s learning, softening, remembering, letting go, beginning again.
As a psychotherapist, I’ve sat with hundreds of people in the tension between the holidays they imagined and the ones they actually get. And as a human, I’m often right there, too — navigating my own ebbs and ache, the stretching and the sweetness, the places where old stories get loud and new versions of ourselves want room to breathe.
So this year, instead of asking you to “be your best,” I want to offer something gentler:
Bring what you need to stay real, regulated, and rooted.
Inside, you’ll find ten states of being — ten moments you might meet this season (plus a bonus one for my fellow therapists) — and simple ways to support your inner world through each one. What to bring within. How to stay connected to your body. A ritual to return to yourself. A few curated objects or tools that help anchor your system.
Think of this as a guide for your emotional carry-on.
A catalog for your internal landscape.
A reminder that tending to yourself isn’t indulgent — it’s necessary.
However your season looks — full house, empty house, in-laws, ex-laws, long flights, quiet nights — my hope is that something in here gives you permission: To pause. To choose yourself. To soften. To feel. To remember that your inner world deserves care.
May these pages help you bring what you need most
— and leave what you no longer have space to carry.
Warmly,
Dr. Courtnay
WHAT TO BRING WITHIN
The re: Holiday Guide 2025
::
The re: Holiday Guide 2025 ::
01 The Dysfunctional Holiday Table
When the dynamics are louder than the conversation.
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A boundaried breath.
One wordless pause before responding.
A mantra: I don’t need to enter every emotional invitation sent my way. -
The Under-the-Table Heart Hold
Palm on your sternum.
Feel the rise and fall.
Three slow inhales. Three slower exhales. -
Check it out:
Why we love it:
A steadying companion for high-stimulus moments — its deep, earthy scent helps slow the internal pace when your environment won’t.
02 Your Partner’s Family Gathering
When you’re both guest and observer.
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Curiosity over performance.
A steady center.
The reminder that you don’t have to harmonize with dynamics that aren’t yours. -
The Bathroom Vagal Reset
Slip away for 90 seconds.
Inhale 4. Exhale 8.
Hum on the exhale. -
Check it out:
Why we love it:
Instant grounding, without anyone knowing you needed it.
03 When You’re Hosting Everyone
(and Wearing Thin)
When everyone needs you and you need yourself.
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Soft structure.
A gentle pace.
The truth: presence matters more than perfection. -
The Pre-Hosting Three-Breath Sequence
One breath to land.
One breath to expand.
One breath to choose your energy. -
Check it out:
Diptyque Baies Candle (Dr. Courtnay’s FAVORITE candle)
Why we love it:
Because scent carries memory, mood, and containment in one invisible gesture.
04 The “Why Are You Still Single?” Dinner
For unsolicited questions wrapped as small talk.
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Self-trust.
A subtle inner smile.
The knowing that your timeline is your own. -
The Invisible Shield
Imagine a soft membrane around your body.
Let nourishment in; let projections evaporate. -
Check it out:
Why we love it:
Because it offers a direct invitation into wellbeing and serenity when your system forgets how to get there on its own.
05 When You and Your Partner Are Out of Sync
When seasonal pressure wakes up old patterns.
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Patience.
A softened ego.
The reminder that tension is often two nervous systems asking for safety. -
The Six-Second Repair Pause
Pause.
Hand on your own chest.
Six seconds of softer tone, slower breath. -
Check it out:
{THE AND} Conversation Card Game - Couples Edition
Why we love it:
For reopening connection without reopening the fight.
06 The Griever in You
When the world is celebrating and your heart is remembering.
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Gentleness.
Permission.
An inner whisper: Grief, you belong. -
The Memory Moment
Hold something meaningful.
Recall one memory.
Let love accompany you. -
Check it out:
Lola Blanket
The Wild Edge of Sorrow – Francis WellerWhy we love it:
A weight that feels like presence and a companion for grief that doesn’t try to fix you.
07 The Solo Holiday
When being alone is the reality—or the relief.
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Openness.
Stillness.
Self-honoring. -
Dinner for One, With Intention
A candle.
A song.
A slow meal.
Presence as company. -
Check it out:
Wilde House Intentional Planner
Semiplume Non-Alcoholic Sparkling BrutWhy we love it:
Creating a place to honor your voice and pace without rushing yourself. Celebration without disruption, offering a ritual of a toast with the clarity of staying embodied.
08 When the Littles Nervous Systems Are Overloaded
For holding your center while their feelings spill over.
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A steady breath.
A grounded stance.
The mantra: My calm is something they can borrow. -
Hand-to-Heart Co-Regulation
Hand on their upper back.
Slow breathing.
Shared repair. -
Check it out:
Little Renegades Mindful Kids Cards
Weighted animal pillowWhy we love it:
A hug disguised as a toy, gicing small bodies (and yours) a soft anchor for big feelings.
09 The One Who’s Secretly the Grinch
Because sometimes irritation is a nervous system asking for space.
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Softening.
Self-understanding.
A little grace for the part of you that tightens when things get loud. -
The “Soften the Edges” Reset
Drop shoulders.
Inhale 4. Exhale longer.
Unclench jaw.
Think: Ease. -
Check it out:
Loop Switch 2 Earplugs
Why we love it: For when you’d like a say in how loud the world feels.
10 The Weary Holiday Traveler
For the body that carried more than luggage this year.
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Slowness.
Unrushed breaths.
Permission to decompress at your own pace. -
The Departure Reset
Inhale through the nose.
Exhale like you’re putting something down.
Hand on heart or belly.
Think: I can come back to myself now. -
Check it out:
Why we love it:
A reset button for travel-worn bodies, easing tension and softening tired eyes.
And we can’t forget about the therapists…
11 The Therapist Holding Everyone’s Holiday Stories
For staying resourced while witnessing seasonal unraveling.
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Discernment.
A clear inner boundary: This is their story, not mine.
The reminder that your nervous system deserves tending, too. -
The Between-Sessions Shake-Off
Stand.
Shake hands, arms, jaw.
Exhale audibly.
Release residue.Frankincense Oil Energy Clearing. One drop tip of tongue. Raise to roof of mouth.
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Check it out:
3-Minute Consciousness Sound Tools
Frankincense OilWhy we love it:
Ancient grounding in modern form. A new cleansing ritual for therapist who hold so much.